53 Things You Never Knew About Sirius Black
by ontheFLY
Summary: Sirius never got to tell his whole story and he thinks it's time you knew everything. 53 lesser known facts, Sirius-style. Oneshot, rated M for language


**53 Things You Never Knew About Sirius Black **

1. Sirius Orion Black's first word wasn't a word at all; it was a bark.

2. He's not crazy or anything, contrary to what James never stopped telling him. The family living at number 11 Grimmauld Place owned a border collie which Sirius, lying alone in the nursery for days at a time, heard barking in the street more often than human voices.

3. Sirius loves and hates his name. Loves, because it reminds him of stars and transformations and full moons in the night sky. Hates, because however hard he tries to change its shape, the name slots neatly into the jigsaw puzzle of the Black family tree, sounds perfectly natural alongside his relatives and ancestors. The only thing that ever set it apart was the tone of disgust in which it was pronounced by his mother.

4. When Sirius was seven, he discovered a hole in the iron fence that caged in the back garden of Grimmauld Place. It led to a Muggle playground. He would sit in the hedge and watch the children laughing and playing in silent fascination, wanting more than anything to join in but unable to find the courage.

5. Sirius at first wanted to befriend Kreacher, mainly because his mother screamed at the elf so much he thought they must be on the same side.

6. These misguided feelings were terminated when Kreacher told Sirius's parents that it had been Sirius who had set up the invisible trip wires that had caused his wizened grandfather Pollux to fall headfirst into the tureen of soup last weekend. Sirius was locked in his bedroom for a week, in which time he plotted exactly fifty eight different ways of taking his revenge.

7. None of these fifty eight ways were put into practise until one summer four years later when James found the list under his bed. _Merlin, tell me these aren't your ideas for Ministry Inspection prank next term. Even Arthur could come up with better than these. _They had a laugh and were going to leave it at that, before Kreacher told Sirius's parents about the time James and Sirius had a game of Quidditch with the stuffed elf heads.

8. After a lot of shouting and screaming, and another week locked in Sirius's bedroom, they swore vengeance and attempted all fifty eight pranks. Only six were pulled off with any success however, including one where they enchanted one of the fire escape stairs on the fourth floor to look like a mirror and spent four hours in uncontrollable fits of laughter watching Kreacher debate with himself about how on earth he was going to jump the gap.

9. When Sirius was told he had a brother, it was as if some intangible dream had come true. He danced and sang and shouted with joy, and saw a light shining in the darkness around him, saw a ladder stretching up out of the fire and into the sky, saw him and his brother climbing it together, up, up and away.

10. Eight years later, he wondered what it would've been like to have a sister instead.

11. Regulus is nothing like him.

12. When Regulus speaks, people listen. When Sirius speaks, his voice always comes out too loud and his parents cough and change the subject abruptly and nod at Kreacher to remove their eldest son from the room.

13. Regulus would come up hours later and Sirius, curled up on the bed facing the wall, would refuse to look at him. More than once he had the urge to grab Regulus by the shoulders and plead with him to stop whatever game it was that they were playing, but in the morning his brother's eyes seemed to gloat across the table at breakfast and Sirius couldn't shake off the feeling he was being laughed at.

14. Of course, you can see things a million different ways and still be brothers. That time Sirius shut Regulus's head in the door? Not an accident.

15. Sirius wasn't always vain, though he can hear James snorting in the background as he says it. To cope with the insults he received at home, Sirius always felt his self confidence needed boosting and he did this by telling himself that he was bloody perfect and the best looking thing to happen to the whole sodding world. It was something that at first he knew wasn't true, then only suspected, then began to believe, then became cast-iron fact.

16. The fourth year girls of Hufflepuff later confirmed this with the formation of the Sirius Black Fan Club.

17. On the morning Sirius left for Hogwarts, Regulus was different. Suddenly he was not the model of preening pure-blood perfection, smiling smugly from behind his mother's arms, saying the right thing when Sirius's angry opinions left an awkward hole in social situations. Something had changed. Sirius looked back to find him panting in the middle of the road, his mouth hanging open slightly, his eyes wide. _You're coming back, right? _They both heard the fear in his voice and Sirius pretended to enjoy it as he walked away.

18. For the first and only time in history, the Hogwarts Express was late that morning. When Sirius looks back, he thanks Merlin it was late, or he might never have met James.

19. They also might never have met had they both not thought they were next in line for the trolley. James shoved right past him, Sirius thought, _Who's this twat?_ and stuck out a foot to trip him up, causing an enraged James to retaliate with a punch to the jaw and before long, war ensued. They both ended up angry and disgruntled sitting opposite each other in the teacher's carriage. Sirius glared at James and mouthed, _Wanker_. James glared back and mouthed, _Knobhead_. Sirius grinned. James grinned.

20. When McGonagall read his surname out during the Sorting Ceremony, there were audible mutters of _Slytherin_ around the hall. As he walked up to the stool, most of the students had already turned back to their food.

21. The Sorting Hat was too big for Sirius's head and the brim came right down over his eyes, blotting out the shining candle light and sparkling ceiling above him. No one had told him that it spoke to you and so the deep papery voice came as a shock, but Sirius was so relieved to be actually asked what house he wanted to be in instead of told that he forgot to whisper, and consequently shouted the word _Gryffindor_, making the whole hall jump and stop talking. It was only after he'd taken a seat at the Gryffindor table that the enormity of what had just happened hit him. There was no going back now, and there was no regret or doubt or lingering glance at his cousins at the Slytherin table because this was a choice that he, Sirius Black, had made without the constraints of his family and it was the first bloody thing in eleven years that felt right.

22. Sirius was sat next to a red-haired boy who was trying to guess which houses the first years would be sorted into. Sirius joined in and they guessed them all correctly expect two; Marlene McKinnon, who they both thought would be a Ravenclaw, and Peter Pettigrew, who the red-haired boy said would be a Slytherin. When he became a Gryffindor, Sirius felt a surge of pride that he had guessed right and jovially invited the nervous looking boy to come and sit next to him.

23. Although he would never tell James or indeed anyone else this, the first time Sirius saw Lily he thought she was beautiful.

24. Remus Lupin was the sort of boy Sirius's mother would have forbade him associating with; his clothes were second-hand and shabby, there were scars on his face and arms, he read Muggle books and came from a less-than-reputable family. This was one of the main reasons Sirius befriended him, but he soon learnt that Remus Lupin was also one of the nicest, kindest most sincere people he had ever met.

25. That wasn't just because he let Sirius copy all his notes from History of Magic. On more than one occasion.

26. The name 'Marauders' came from Professor McGonagall in second year. All four of them ended up in detention after the Halloween prank on the third floor corridor turned out to be a colossal failure and they were all caught by Filch frantically trying to put ten suits of armour back together. McGonagall's lecture went on for a good half hour but the only phrase that stuck was _Let me assure you, I am less than proud to have such a troublesome band of marauders in Gryffindor House_.

27. Sirius got drunk for the first time when he was fourteen. It was the same night James invented Magical Spin the Bottle, and consequently everyone ended up kissing each other, which was ok except Dorcas Meadowes took it too seriously the next morning and wouldn't stop hanging off his arm. She laughed when he told her to go away, even though he was bloody serious and her nails were starting to dig into his flesh.

28. Looking back, it always amazes Sirius that it took them two years to figure out Remus's furry little problem. They confronted him one grey November morning, a few hours after the full moon, and there were fresh cuts on his face and blood on his clothes and he looked like he was going to cry when James said it. The room went cold in the silence. Then Remus's defeated nod. After, Sirius didn't know what to say and James was furious and shouting _We're your mates, how could you think that we would care about this shit?_ and Peter was cowering behind him and all the while Remus was shaking and bleeding and the whole thing felt messed up.

29. James kissed Sirius for the first time when they were twelve during a fiercely competitive game of Gay Chicken.

30. Sirius kissed Remus for the first time when they were seventeen. It wasn't a dare and neither of them were drunk; they were sitting on Sirius's bed and Remus was crying because he had just received an owl telling him his father had been taken seriously ill. His body shook with sobs and Sirius put his forehead against Remus's and kissed his nose, then his cheek, then his lips and then his lips again. They never spoke of it afterwards.

31. Sirius kissed Peter just once, when they were fifteen. Peter was complaining that he had never been kissed and Sirius, who was unsuccessfully trying to get some sleep, got up from his bed, crossed the room and pressed his lips firmly to Peter's for a few seconds before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and going back to bed, muttering _There. You owe me one, Wormtail._

32. The Animagus Plan was Peter's idea. Remus told them not to on a daily basis but they took no notice – both Sirius and James thought it was bloody brilliant and Sirius has never worked harder for anything in his life. They made peace with the librarian (who at first was less than happy to allow them in after the Bowtruckle incident during third year) and spent hours poring over thick leather-bound tomes that James had snuck out of the restricted section under his Invisibility Cloak. Potions were brewed, charms were perfected and when it was accomplished, and the three of them stood looking at each other with Sirius's tail wagging, Peter's nose twitching and James shaking his antlers from side to side, it was as if someone had handed them the keys to a shiny new Australia. Remus, who was standing on the other side of the room, started laughing hysterically.

33. The first time they snuck out at full moon was a disaster that ended up with all four of them trailing back up to the castle in the early hours of the morning, covered in a mixture of blood, chocolate, dirt, owl feathers and dog urine.

34. Sirius had not meant for Snape to find out. He was tired of the greasy slimeball's constant questions and told him about the Whomping Willow out of annoyance and a desire to shut him up more than for his own amusement. The next thing he knew, Snape was trembling on the floor with his eyes bulging from his skull, James had a deep cut over his eye that was spilling blood onto his shirt and Peter was crying silently. Sirius was left standing in the middle of the room with nothing but the cold knowledge that it was all his fault.

35. Sirius left home when he was sixteen.

36. It was a few days after Christmas and outside the rain was thundering down from a sky that looked solid and swollen at the same time. His mother shouted _No son of mine consorts with mudbloods and half-breeds _and Sirius shouted _It's lucky I'm not your son then _and then his mother called him a blood traitor and an embarrassment to the family and he looked around wildly at his father, his grandfather, his cousins but all stared back cold and unforgiving, apart from Bellatrix who was trying not to laugh. He looked back at his mother and she was trembling with fury. It was silent for a very long time. _Fine then; wouldn't want to outstay my welcome. Don't worry Mother dearest, I won't be coming back. _

37. To this day, Sirius wishes he had said something different when Regulus stood crying in the doorway, something a bit more comforting, something like _Come with me_. But in that moment, his brother was just another road block. _Oh sorry, Reg, have you thought of another insult to hurl at my friends?_ _Just get out, run back to Mummy._ _I'm sick of the whole damn lot of you. _He had one leg out the window. _Sirius, don't leave –_ but he had gone.

38. Sirius wishes he had taken his brother with him.

39. He half expected James to laugh and tell him to sod off. He was soaked through to the skin, clutching the handle of his trunk so tightly his knuckles had turned white, and he was shivering violently from the cold cling of his wet T-shirt. The door opened. James was wearing a knitted Christmas jumper. _Padfoot! What the hell are you...oh._ Sirius tried to say something but his teeth were chattering uncontrollably, and what would he of said anyway? There was a very long pause, in which both of them struggled for words. Then James noticed that it was raining and said_ Let's get you inside, mate_.

40. James was the brother Sirius had never had. Living with him was like having a childhood all over again, and this time actually enjoying it. During the day they had Quidditch games in the back yard, wrote letters to Moony and Wormtail, drew up detailed plans for the map, wrote down ideas for pranks they could pull for their final year, discussed methods James could employ to get Evans to say yes and stayed up late playing Exploding Snap. But at night, Sirius had feverish nightmares where he was locking Regulus in a prison cell and forcing him to swallow the key, and when James woke him up, he was crying and shaking and drenched in cold sweat.

41. When Lily and James first began dating, Sirius didn't think he would be jealous. After all, he had dated pretty much every non-Slytherin girl in their year and James had never once complained about the endless trips up to the Astronomy Tower.

42. But that didn't last. After a month, Sirius missed James's undivided attention, didn't understand the looks he exchanged with Lily, and that upset him. More than once he tried to sabotage the whole thing, the most remarkable occasion being when he sent Lily a box of chocolates spiked with a potion that made her break out in pus-filled boils. James took one look at her and swore revenge on his best friend, but Lily got there first; Sirius didn't walk straight for a week.

43. They all joined the Order when Dumbledore sent out the appeal. Sirius enjoyed the missions he was sent on with James the best, because it reminded him of being eleven again and stealing sweets from Honeyduke's when they thought no one was looking. Except now they were killing people, and that was somehow different.

44. James told Sirius he was going to marry Lily one night in the Three Broomsticks. It was the first time they'd seen each other in three months, as Sirius had been on a secret operation in Scotland tracking a known death-eater and hadn't been able to make contact. _Things are great, actually. We're...well, if she'll have me that is, haven't actually plucked up the courage to ask yet...we're going to get married. _Sirius choked on his Butterbeer. _You're what?! _They were so young, still in their twenties, and marriage was a white flag that didn't have to be raised until you were at least thirty five, and there was a war on for Merlin's sake and what were they thinking?!

45. Sirius wept like a baby at the wedding, more than was considered masculine, but covered it up by downing two bottles of Firewhiskey. His best man speech was later described by James as _the funniest thirty minutes of my whole goddamn life_ and by Lily as _not entirely appropriate._

46. It was Harry that made Sirius fly to Godrick's Hollow that night and persuade his best friends to make Peter the Secret Keeper. Harry, with his mother's startling green eyes, his tiny fingers wrapped tightly around Sirius's thumb, a small bundle of warmth in his godfather's arms. Voldemort had many things, and he could not have this. But, when Sirius turned back at the bottom of the path and saw James looking down at his wife and his son in her arms with a fierce love that Sirius was beginning to understand, something made him doubt everything that he had just said and he wondered if he hadn't just made a terrible, terrible mistake.

47. Sirius can't talk about what happened next, because he blacked it out almost as soon as the words were out of Dumbledore's mouth. The shock was unexplainable. After he heard the word _dead_, the rest seemed to drift away so only snatches of Dumbledore's explanation sunk in. _Voldemort gone...the boy's alive...rebounded curse...Peter betrayed us._ And then Sirius was running, running as if the devil was on his heels, and he didn't hear Dumbledore calling after him, or the rev of the motorbike's engine as he kicked off from the ground, or the screech of the traffic as he zoomed into the sky.

48._ Pettigrew! Peter fucking Pettigrew!_ At the end of the street, Peter turned slowly to face him and Sirius saw panic in his eyes. Anger was threatening to take control of him now; he was shaking with it, his whole body trembling with rage and his wand was pointed directly at Peter's chest, though he had no memory of taking it out. Wormtail looked left and right desperately and began to back away. _Sirius, it's not what you think. You don't understand what he would've done if I hadn't! The Dark Lord is terrible in many ways, I didn't have a choice!_ Sirius stopped a few feet away from him, and, for a split second, tried to understand, but then he remembered his friends were dead and his friend was not his friend, and this was betrayal at its ugliest. _How could you? How fucking could you?_ _They were your friends; they would've died for_ _you._ Suddenly there was a knife in Peter's hand and Sirius thought he was going to attack him. _I...I am sorry, Sirius. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I haven't got a choice, that's all._ Peter held out his hand and suddenly there was a scream and too much blood streaming onto the pavement before Sirius had time to make sense of anything. He didn't see that Peter also had his wand out, so the explosion a second later came as a complete shock.

49. Later, at the trial, Sirius couldn't stop laughing. They were idiots, all of them. Wankers. Knobheads.

50. Sirius didn't hate Azkaban. In a strange way, the lapping waves and howling wind were quite soothing, and if he closed his eyes, he could imagine the sound of the sea was really the sound of running feet, four paws drumming against the ground under a full moon. If only everyone else would stop screaming and the Dementors would stop popping in for a snack every now and then, he wouldn't have minded sitting there in the cold, reminiscing about a time that was now too distant to have ever really been.

51. Escape was easy. Seeing Harry grown up with that look of loathing and mistrust in his eyes was much, much harder. Watching Pettigrew scamper off into the distance was also not exactly enjoyable.

52. The last years of Sirius's life passed quickly. Time with his godson, locked up in the house, catching Remus and Tonks at it in his old bedroom, transforming just for fun and wandering around London seeking adventure, wishing James would come through the back door, kicking Kreacher down the stairs, hurling hexes at the walls in frustration.

53. When the green light flashed around him and he heard James shout his name, Sirius felt as if he had been plunged into icy water. His limbs weren't working but that didn't matter. His friends were here around him, and it was just some stupid joke that he and James had made up that they were all going to laugh about later. Remus would tell them to keep it down because he was a Prefect now which meant he didn't know how to have fun, but of course he did, and James and Peter would tackle him to the ground and then they would watch the map and time how long it took Snivelly to go to the toilet and then spend ages laughing about Prongs's failed attempts to win Evans over and eventually they'd collapse on top of each other in the middle of the dorm, Remus's head on his shoulder, Peter's arm over his back, James's hair in his face, and wait for the sun to rise through the window and tell them it was time to live another day.

But the sun was not coming up and all around him was dark. He wanted to apologize to Regulus. He wanted to hold Harry in his arms and tell him how proud he was, how proud James would have been. He didn't want to miss Peter as much as he did but it was not something he could control. The last thing he saw was Bellatrix, then his brother, then his friends. Then Harry. Then blackness.

* * *

**A/N So this was a very spontaneous spill of words; apologies if there are typing errors but I started writing and just couldn't stop. Sirius has always fascinated me; dealing with the pressures of his family, shutting out things that he was told to believe and having to live through the death of James and Lily made him impossibly brave, and not to mention reckless.**

**I hope you enjoyed this one-shot. It's my first attempt but I'm thinking I might do one for the other three Marauders? Let me know if you think this is mischief managed or you would like to read another one :) **

**Thank you millions x**


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